Every year at Christmas we’re always rushing around like crazy people to satisfy all of the family and friend obligations and responsibilities (not that we don’t necessarily enjoy this, it’s just often very stressful to fit things in). There’s my family and his family and gifts to get and my extended family (which is a stressor on a level all its own) and church and travel and general chaos.
The season starts off when the out-of-town folk start arriving: Doug, Melly, Amanda, Keith, Jo, G, Beth, Dave and now Cara. Doug always stays with us so our first goal is usually to clean up a place for him to stay. The 23rd is spent in a whirlwind of last minute gifts, wrapping and packing. After work on the 24th we rush out to the Park to church, generally arriving just in time to find parking and Paul’s family before the carols start. Afterward we head out to the farm to hang out with Mama, Papa, Trish and Kaley, playing board games, eating snacks and having a good time. We trundle off to bed and normally wake up at some late hour as Jo and G sneak in the door after their time with G’s family.
Morning arrives in the form of Kaley jumping on us yelling “Merry Christmas! It’s time to get up for Jesus’ Birthday!” We crawl out of bed and gather in the living room, in various stages of consciousness. Eventually the coffee is brewing, the candles are lit and everyone has gathered in a circle. Paul’s Dad reads from the bible and then we all join hands and go around the circle talking about what we are thankful for that year. We sing Happy Birthday to Jesus and blow out our candles.
On to the frenzy: coffee is handed out, for those who drink it. Our secret stocking exchange comes next, with at least one or two prank gifts every year. Gifts are torn open, except by me and G: we open carefully and fold the wrapping for re-use, partly because we were raised that way and partly because it drives everyone else insane. It’s a hubbub of excitement, laughter and tears of joy. We’re goofy and silly and exchange long-distance finger wiggling hugs across the room. Soon all the packages are opened, thank yous are exchanged and we troop into the kitchen for waffles with bacon cooked into them (yummy!) After waffles, more games until Paul and I have to head out to my parent’s place.
Robyn, Jay and Ivy usually arrive about the same time we do and we rush through the family gift opening so that we can finish getting ready for the extended family to arrive. My mom’s family is enormous; she has 4 brothers and 5 sisters, they have kids and their kids have kids and their kids have started having kids. Since my grandparents are both still alive that makes for 5 living generations. Many of them are extroverts who tell it like it is, which makes for a lot of laughing and yelling and some fighting. (Last year my cousin, my mom and my grandma got in a fight before we had even arrived.) I’m not entirely sure how we survive Christmas every year.
We still have a “grown up” table and “kids” tables, except some of the ones at the “kids” table are now over 40. We have a great time laughing and joking at the little table. The adult table is more sedate and many of the comments are more barbed. As the night goes on more and more relatives arrive with kids and pets in tow, until you can barely move in the house.
Eventually people start to trickle away. Mom and Dad drive Auntie Buff home while Paul and Jay and I clean up and Robyn sleeps on the couch. We drive home well after midnight with a big bag of leftovers and snuggle in to sleep.
This year will look quite different; it's a year of transition. Jo and G decided not to come back at Christmas and Paul’s family all went out to spend Christmas with them. My brother and Ivy are off on a holiday in Mexico, and aren’t back until the 27th. Instead of going to Paul’s family Catholic Church for 5:00 mass, we’re going to Sarah and Jamie’s Anglican Church for an 11:00 service. Tomorrow morning we will wake up in our new house, just the two of us, and have our own candlelit ceremony. We don’t have gifts or stockings to open, but we’re still going to have waffles with maple bacon cooked in. We’ll watch “A Christmas Story” and relax before going to my parent’s place for 4. The nutters will arrive and it will be all crazy all the time as usual until they trickle away again.
This year we have the time and the space to create our own traditions. I am stressing less about gifts and thinking more about the value of the time spent with friends and family. It’s kind of hard to be so adrift at a time of year that's steeped in tradition. I find I’m singing carols every chance I get, we’ve got the Christmas radio station on and we’re watching all of the classic Christmas movies. Admidst the change, that continued tradition is important and ties us together. There’s a wreath on our door, icicle lights on the patio, and tinsel on the water wall. We’re at home for Christmas, a real home that’s our own for building tradition and memories.
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
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